so where have i been?

i never skipped a year, mostly, even if it seems like i did, i wished you well every year on your birthday (happy birthday to you) and a few other days each year when your memory inspired a smile... the memory of being in love always inspires a smile J and i like to smile so i try to remember being in love regularly (i live in love, so i smile a lot, though i've only shared being in love with someone a couple of times in this life and alas, it did not last for the forever i had hoped it would, but the memories of being in love still inspire a smile)...

this could be a long list of place i've lived, things i've done, people i've been with, and so on and so forth (what?) but lists can be so boring and are you really interested in the details?... if you are (and you find this blog and read these words) you will let me know what you want to know and i will share whatever you want to know, lists and all... but a simple answer to where i've been can be found here as much of me has been writing for the past four decades... i started as a little kid but really got serious when went in the army and wanted to keep in touch (and yes there were way more than 16 books and blogs of letters to you, though most were written before 1980)... i wonder if you still have any of those letters i sent to you (anything worth reading?)... ego always wondered if you'd have them when i became a famous song writer... but ego dreams big, as you may recall :)

off the written page, or off the web, i've spent about half this life working ridiculously long hours helping others and the other half in early retirement and i enjoyed almost every minute of both (but definitely got more rest and did many more diverse things during the retirement time)... i enjoyed drugs and travelling after the army and worked long hours at bdc (now bdso, i believe) through the 80s... i lived on ave j and e42nd st with my best friend of the time... she fell in love with me and the feeling wasn't mutual, which made moving to florida in 1990 right in many ways (my love of hot climates and letting her move on, though that took a few years because we had bought a house together in florida)... i didn't work through the 90s, moved to toronto for love in 95 and back to florida in 97 when it didn't work out... back to work in 2001... these days i run a health care facility in orlando florida and through about 90 other people and we take care of profoundly disabled people who can't take care of themselves... i live with a wonderful person who calls me her bff (she's a child of the 90s), though i've chosen to stay away from falling in love for more than two decades mostly because the right person has not come along... i have a couple of people who look to me as a father, one calls me dad, but i've created no children...

there are a whole lot more details, lots of years to catch up on if we are ever to catch up... i'd love to hear where you've been and how you are today... and so i write... i hope you are well, and happy, and know peace... and if you find these words, may they inspire a smile :)

friend

this is how it used to be
when you were in love with me
the words fell into rhyme
the music fell in time
and life was a euphoric ecstasy

now i know what i must do
cuz i know i still love you
even after all this time
you still bring the sublime
it might not make sense but it's true
i learn to be in love with you

some may think this is sad
some may say i've lost my mind
is it crazy to be happy
i did not leave you behind

when i promised i will love you
i meant till the end of all time
maybe most people just say it
i think that is the sad crime

but you don't have to agree with me
you can be anyone you want to be
and if you didn't mean it that's ok
i still love you anyway

this is how it's meant to be
love is for eternity
love can never end
love cannot pretend
love is a euphoric ecstasy

this is the best i can do
i always believed you knew
this is what the heart dreams of
time does not change true love
it doesn't have to make sense to be true
i can and will always love you

i don't mean to scare you
or interfere in your life
it's ok if you don't want me
and you're someone else's wife

we don't have to be together
we may never meet again
but as sure as there is love
i will always be your friend

this is how it's meant to be
love is not a fantasy
love can never end
and i am still your friend
for all eternity

this is how it's meant to be
love is my reality
love cannot pretend
love can never end
time does not change what is true
i will always be here for you
if you ever need anything
i will always be here for you

happy birthday
amy lou
I will always be here for you